Hi, I’m a Comrade…and I’m broke!

There are two things that are inescapably inevitable in a university student’s life: the occasional ‘F’ and being broke. The exceptions are so few they don’t count. Failing is bearable considering you had to have passed in high school to get to campus. On the other hand, while being broke is a permanent feature for many a comrade, it still remains one of the most unforgivable ‘crimes’ amongst campuserians.
A common campus joke even has it that if brokenness was a cologne, campuserians would be stinking of its pungent stench. What? Isn’t it in like all campuses? No? Oh, well…
As often the case, guys are only loaded once in any given semester-at the beginning. After the HELB loan dies its characteristic natural death, comrades start to get by. Then follows the rat race and life becomes more pegged on survival than living. In order to remain afloat, certain adjustments have to be made. And that’s when the shrewd brilliance of students checks in.
First off the list are the random parties. Friday nights are suddenly orderly and the party animals can conspicuously be spotted within the campus premises; quiet and surprisingly controlled. Where loud parties and binge drinking were once a ritual, a soda and a movie would suffice. As a matter of fact, scratch the soda.
Then follows the involuntary dieting. All of a sudden there is ‘no time’ to prepare breakfast and lunch is considered a luxury. Besides, don’t they say that one should eat a balanced meal to stay healthy? Who said anything about ‘meals’?
In the same breath, there is a significant shift in the dietary patterns. The realization suddenly hits that the most expensive food joints do not necessarily offer the best food and that the meals in the more fairly priced cafeterias are not so bad after all.
Cell phones become a permanent burden with their open mouths that seem to demand for endless credit which gets drained faster than a leaking fuel tank on a Kenyan highway. Safaricom becomes the bitter option with their endless reminders for Okoa Jahazi repayment which border on threats from a Russian shylock.
Relationships are put on hold. Didn’t your mama tell you? No romance without finance. That really needs no elaboration now does it?
In direct relation to the last two case points, the dialing list notably changes. Calls to ‘Sweetheart’ and “Baby’ are replaced by ‘Auntie xxxx” and ‘Uncle yyyy’. Isn’t that what family is for? Bet you didn’t think that when they were inviting you to their ‘shady’ residence not too long ago.
Comrades’ sense of entrepreneurship is significantly boosted. Those eggs at the farm in the village would fetch a pretty coin wouldn’t they? Or maybe you could try putting your skills as a tout to some use. How about selling milk to a lactating cow? Yeah, that’s pure genius.
Then just when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel you realize it’s there’s a great chunk of the semester yet to be covered. That wasn’t a light. No. That was a train full of more problems coming straight at you. Tough luck!