SO YOU WANT TO BE A STUDENT LEADER??

Let’s face it, student leadership has gone to the dogs these days. Nay, it has gone to the rats. And I bet even they can’t stomach its filth. Aside from empty rhetoric and misguided delusions of power, all that remains of student leadership is the tissue with which its dignity was wiped off with. Wait, didn’t they flush that down the toilet?
The thing is, there exist only two brands of student leaders today; the scum and the scams.
Among the scum, you will find the goons. Those uncultured bullies who serve as a constant reminder that evolution is indeed a continuous process whichever end you view it from. These are the wince faced wrench wielding fellows who are either a source of security or insecurity depending on which side of their bread has been bartered. These hooligans get their way by battering any dissenting voices into coercion perhaps in accordance with the democratic maxim that the majority are to be heard, but it is the will of the minority that must be had. Learned ignorance, that’s what it is.
Then there are the goody two suits who practically camp outside politicians’ doorsteps waiting for financial handouts and hand-me-down coats. Small wonder why you can always spot them by that once three-piece now turned piece of a suit. Their mastery of the gab is hard to miss and they always seem to have an opinion on something. But all it takes is a recap of last night’s news to remind you that they are merely regurgitating what their ATM of choice (read parliamentarian) was rambling about. Even the legislators have coined a name for these folk, they are aptly referred to as ‘mouthpieces for hire’.
But it’s the ladies who take the cake. Some female student leaders have devised a full proof strategy that guarantees them a sure win at the ballot. Their weapon of choice? What was that? Propaganda? Dirty tactics? Well, that was actually close. Beds. Therein lies the future of student politics. In, bed to bed campaigns. Fill in the gaps. (no pun intended)
Throw in the tribal politics, rigging, bribery et al and voila, you have a national election. So you can’t blame comrades now can you? They learnt from the best. And since they are the best of this generation you can only expect them to improve on what they acquired, right? Sure.
Godspeed to those currently in the thick of campaigns and congratulations to the newly elected student officials in the respective campuses. As for the rest, vote wisely.